Mind-full eating

I have been reading a lot about conscious eating, paying attention to what you put into your mouth.  Knowing where it comes from, what is processed, putting effort into preparation, and then finally enjoying - in real time - the payoff that comes from good, natural, healthy food.

Along with such enlightened thinking comes the corollary about unhealthy, processed food: enjoy it mindfully and rarely.  Sure, you can have pizza - just not too often and you should SAVOR it and appreciate the lifestyle that "allows" pizza in reasonable doses.

All of this makes sense to me, but it ignores what I really want when I am on a tear; what I am looking for psychologically as well as physically. 

Here is the truth: I love mindless eating.  It is my favorite type of eating.  When you have lots of melted cheese and garlic, and know that there is another meal to be eaten whenever whatever.  While watching TV or reading a magazine.  Or doing both at the same time.  The full bowl so my hand doesnt have to search for whatever is in there while I am typing an email. 

When I hear that I need to incorporate foods that I love into my healthy lifestyle (from my husband, for example), I don't bother trying to explain that I don't really want to eat two slices of pizza.  Who cares about pizza - I KNOW that it's not so yummy.  Why bother explaining that I crave carrying a box with a whole pizza pie into the kitchen, setting up the computer, watching Law and Order, and eating whatever I want.  Sometimes the whole pie, sometimes 2 slices, it doesn't matter... I want to mindlessly buy and consume large quantities of food - "whatever" food, not gourmet food.

I believe this will be my demon.  I can get into the foodie lifestyle - hell, we went to TWO farmers markets this weekend, and bought up a storm.  But my impulse to indulge doesn't follow foodie mores - slowly enjoying some decadent pastry to fulfill some need... No, my impulse to indulge is to ignore the food that I am eating while eating lots of it. 

In my head, when I am exasperated with steaming some exotic zucchini with fresh garlic, I think "I just want to eat like a human being."   What I mean by that is, ORDER something fabulous, in portions for four, and eat until I am done with TV for the night.

I know that is not how human beings eat, but it's how I like to eat.  This will be my demon to exorcise.