Cheater, cheater, Pumpkin eater

My Bubby used to say that to me when I would cheat at cards, or Monopoly, or Risk etc. Then she would let me get away with it...

I cheat on Weight Watchers. Or, more accurately, I am creating my own eating plan. Why? WW worked three times in the past - I lost about twenty pounds in 12 weeks each time. Why would I mess with the success?

The answer is that these diets were not truly successful. Exhibit one: I always gained the weight back (doh!). Exhibit two: I was HUNGRY. I couldn't wait for the diet to end. I was hungry and obsessed with my points and food and plans.

Here's the thing: 21 points is bullsh*t. A typical "on plan" day for me involved slowly eating a two-three point breakfast (3)... waiting, anticipating a mid-morning fruit (4)... worshiping a pathetic three-four point hummus or PB sandwich and another fruit (9)... watching the clock until I could eat my 1pm snack (11)... at this point my work day was effectively over because I was weak from hunger... 3pm cheese stick! (12)... 4pm FiberOne bar and snap peas/carrots (14)... 6pm "volume food" (think - a whole head of steamed cauliflower) (15)... chicken breast and salad for dinner (19)... popcorn/strawberries/2 squares of dark chocolate (21)...

Variations include 3-5 fruit/vege based points for my "goodies" and generally worked out about 45 minutes 5-6 days a week.

I think that WW would consider this a perfect day. Looking back, I can't quite figure out why I this wasn't workable for me. The one thing I know for sure was that this was crap. Total crap. I couldn't wait for the hours to go by - I wanted my days to finish faster because I was so hungry and obsessed. When I was hungry, I would eat a one-point snack - because there was NO leeway with 21 points - and then try to go for a short walk. I remember once walking home from work, dizzy and despairing because I only had 5 points left to my day.

On more than one occasion I took two NyQuil in order to induce an early sleep - so that I wouldn't eat.

Again, I don't know why 21 points works for others of my height and weight, while its a non-starter with me. It doesn't matter - it is time to study the data and make predictions about the future: if I stick with 21 points (even including the 35 weekly point allowance - yes, I ate those!), I will ultimately fail. Maybe it will be "great" for 12 weeks, maybe I can sleepwalk my way back to the 140s, or 130s... but it will never hold.

So, this time, I am a cheater cheater pumpkin eater.

Here is how I cheat. First, my base is 25-30 points a day. Plus my 35 weekly points. As my husband said, my problem is not the difference between a 30 point day. It's that I can frequently polish off 40-50 point days without a thought. So I now have somewhere between 25 and 30 points a day.

That's not all. NUTS DON'T COUNT. Huh? Nuts don't count. I eat a handful of almonds or pecans everyday, and I would estimate that should be about 4 points. I don't count them. Here's why: I would never, ever, ever never eat nuts if I counted them. My mind-body connection is not nearly sophisticated enough to be satisfied from 20 almonds. But nuts are so healthy, and satisfy something else in me - the need for non-refrigerated readily available finger food. I eat them standing up, in front of the computer, while I'm on the phone, the same way I would otherwise be eating potato chips or other crap.

Finally, I am not precise when it comes to dinner. We eat at home about 75% of the time. I cook healthily. Most meals I make are between 12-25 points in TOTAL. Maybe I eat half, maybe I don't. I generally leave myself 8 points for dinner, and let the pieces fall as they are.

Bottom line, I am probably adding an average of 10-14 points a day to my suggested Weight Watchers total. I feel like a human being - appropriately hungry and limited without the obsession and need to "get through" the week. I suspect that at some point the weight loss will stop, but until that happens...

I am a cheater. I cheat on my diet. It's how I would like to live my life.