Stagnant

I can't seem to get myself going - at work, at the gym, in the kitchen.  After a good run this summer (I was so productive, eating healthy), I am just kind of skidding through the past couple of weeks.

The good news is that the marathon training continues.  The long runs are getting long - I mean really long.  And this past Sunday I had my first "walk to the finish" because I just couldn't get myself to jog the final half mile or so.  But the important thing is that I got the mileage in.  That is my most important goal.

But I have to admit, everything else is just stagnating.  Pilates, other classes aren't happening as much.  I even have trouble getting myself into the gym some mornings.  Things are only going to get harder once the semester starts again.

I have been very happy with how I look.  I was thinking about how lucky I am to have a wonderful husband and a healthy body... and good clothes.  Why am I continuing to try to lose weight??  But the unhappy answer to that question is that if I am not trying to lose weight, I am actually slowly gaining weight.  It is a sad statement on where I am with food that I cannot maintain - it is a constant struggle for me to NOT eat in a completely insane way.  Everyday, I want to pack away two or three normal-sized lunches, by myself, before dinner.  I have to fight to eat one normal lunch, let alone a healthy, low-calorie lunch.

So that is the struggle.  Forget a low calorie sandwich-and-a-fruit lunch - I am just trying to eat one COSI sandwich rather than the whole menu at one time.  Most of the time I win this fight.  Sometimes I lose. 

Hence, stagnation!